I got a call from the job I applied for. They still want me. I went for orientation Friday, but was turned away because I didn't have a social security card. I had gone to the SS office before orientation and applied for one that morning. Hopefully it will be in soon. There's nothing like having your own money!!!! My garden is doing great! I planted corn a few days ago and noticed this morning that it is already growing. I had sprouted the seeds in small containers. I miss my Holly so much. Hopefully when I start drawing a paycheck I can see about going to Georgia for a visit or having her fly out here. I hate that I am so far away from her. Sometimes I wish I would have thought this move through a little better, but no use crying over spilled  milk. Everything will work out. I trust the Goddess to look after my baby. My baby will be 21 in August lol!!! I have been dealing with some anger issues today. It is true, when you allow yourself to be angry and don't hold back it does make you feel better. We are taught that anger is bad and should be shoved to the side, but this way it only festers and becomes a big ugly monster. I learned this from reading blogs here on Covenspace. What wonderful teachers you guys are! Thank you. Well I'm off to feed my piggys and get my other chores done. I might even bake some cookies.

After reading my blog post from this morning I can see that I have a lot of healing to do. It is going to be difficult to do since I ended one relationship and started a new one without going through the grieving process. Plus I never healed from my first marriage. I am very jaded when it comes to love. Does anyone ever get over this? Is there anyway to heal after 2 failed marriages? What am I saying, of course there is! ugh! I am so afraid of being hurt again. Part of me wants to believe that this one will be the one that works, but another part of me wants to put up walls and convince myself that I would be better off on my own. I know that I am a very strong person and I can overcome anything, but I also know how bad it feels to have a broken heart. I don't blink an eye when it comes to poisonous snakes, but relationships scare the sh!t out of me! Go figure. Time to quit pushing this problem to the side and do some serious healing. I am open to any and all suggestions on how to begin.

I'm not sure if any of you have noticed, but my luck with men is not great. I have been told that it is because I am too independent. Hmmm. I admit that I like to at least attempt to do things on my own. That's just the way I am. I don't like shopping for clothes or shoes. I think the most shoes I have had at one time is 5 pairs.2 pair were tennis shoes, 1 pair of boots, 1 pair of white dress shoes, and 1 pair of black dress shoes. As far as clothes I live in jeans and t shirts. I do wear makeup because of my upbringing, but I wear the least amount I can get away with, and I  keep my toenails polished at all times in rememberance of my Memaw. She always wore fire engine red polish!  I love tools! Lowes is my favorite store. Must be the lesbian side of me lol! I'm not afraid of snakes and other creatures that make most women cringe. I'm not afraid of getting dirty or muddy. Any job that needs to be done I jump right in and at least make an attempt. Men love this at first, but after awhile they forgo me for a more girly model. I told my latest that he would end up doing the same. Of course I got the ususal, "no, I love you, I want to be with you forever!" If I had a nickel, lol!  I've tried being girly. No offence to all you feminine girls, but I can't do it.  I felt like a fish out of water. I told him that I intend on enjoying our relationship to the fullest, but I know how it will end. Some of us were just meant to be single. Not alone mind you, single. There's a difference. No matter what happens I always survive. The heart has wonderful recouperative powers. It also doesn't hurt that I have spent years reading books on self help and spirituality and of course my witchcraft. I get down from time to time, but then I remember what I have learned and put it to use. Ahhh inner peace! Life is so much easier when we have the proper tools!

Anyone who has a man in their life that is over the age of 40 has been exposed to Victory at Sea. Yep, you guessed it. It is on my TV at this moment. I'm already very sleepy this afternoon and if this doesn't put me out nothing will lol! I may be  a little shallow, but if I am forced to watch history I want it to be directed by Steven Spielberg, and I want lots of special effects! I could go outside and work in the yard or hang out by the pond, but I am too tired (or is it lazy?) to get out of this chair. Saturday afternoons are meant to be lazy I guess, this one is anyway!
I might email my daughter. I have been asking her to send me some pictures. I thought about pouring on the catholic, jewish mother guilt on her, lol! Hmmm, can I muster any of this up seeing as how I am neither catholic nor jewish? We shall see.

Well I just got back from orientation. well, sort of, lol! I lost my social security card and applied for a new one. It seems that the reciept from the social security office wasn't enough for them to hire me. They told me to give them a call when it comes in. No problem. My buddy is glad I didn't get hired now. Relay for life is next weekend and he wants me to walk all night next friday. It's for a good cause. everything happens the way it's supposed to.
It seems I have a new friend. We have a pond and I love just sitting on the bank and feeding the fish. There is a small tree on the bank with a low branch that hangs over the water. My new buddy, a water moccasin, loves to lay on that branch. I have decided since we will be seeing alot of each other that I should name him. His name is Kaa after the snake from the Jungle Book. I know what you guys are thinking, but I can't destroy something that isn't bothering anything. And I have no intention of eating water moccasin! Ewwwwww! Hopefully this friendship will not result in me being on the recieving end of a nasty bite. He is actually the third water moccasin I have seen on our property so far this year. It looks like my carefree days of walking barefoot outside are over. Oh well, it's a small sacrifice to make for Mother Nature. After all, even the dangerous creatures are hers and need to be treated with respect.